I am there. I’m at that point. I’m facing the wall, and realizing that the wall isn’t going anywhere, so if I need to get past it, I’m going to have to climb over it or smash through it by sheer force of will.
I’ve been hedging–Oh, the hedging!–a lot these past weeks. Dragging my heels. Being non-committal. That little voice in the back of my head is whispering oh so many discouraging and annoying things, and I’m finally getting sick enough of it to do something about it.
Undoubtedly, I have a lot to learn. Undoubtedly, my writing-ego has taken some hits lately without a whole lot of good blocks or return volleys. But I can either sit around, moping, watching TV, bitching, “discussing,” planning, etc., or I can liberally apply butt-to-chair, put the head down, and dig deep to get through it. I’m tired of whining. I’m tired of waiting for something to magically “click” that will get things moving in a positive direction again. I’ve got work to do, and it sure as heck isn’t writing itself–in any form. I need to stop being a coward, and get my shit together, so here it is: the official list of goals for FY13 to be completed by August 31, 2013.
[ ] Finish The Thief Dilemma. Get it done and posted. I want it out of my hair by 28.
[ ] Have 60k minimum on a NEW NOVEL PROJECT (single-volume, no “multi-book” concepts), with a projected (and reasonable) “Due Date” assigned.
[ ] Write 500 words/1 hr every day, including weekends, no excuses.
That’s it. That’s the whole list. There are a million other things I’d like to do, like put together a short fiction collection, or work on editing the short stories I’ve piled up, or submit a bunch of stories to magazines/anthologies, or tinker around with a novel project that will *never* go anywhere while I let it think it’s my magnum opus, but everything else is on the side-burners until I can achieve even this limited amount by next year.
There is no reason at all why I cannot achieve the three things listed there, other than my own dawdling/whining/evasive maneuvering. It’s time to stop being scared of the work required and step up. No more stalling.
This, I know I can do. If I don’t, the only reason–outside of being hit by a bus/struck by lightning/[natural disaster of choice here]–is laziness and a lack of commitment.
I’m a bit peeved at myself. Can you tell? This time next year, I will have those three things checked off with big green X’s, and will hopefully have learned a lot about myself and my writing in the process. Time to open the floodgates. Hang on to something.